I'm coming home...Pt I

I never thought that being comfortable in socks and sandals would be a sign I'm on a spiritual path but it is.  

I've spent the last three weeks listening to Gurus about self realisation and sitting on the beach by the Ganges (Lady Ganga :) ) every sunset chanting.  Unlike the guilty pleasure of taking the wheelie bin out in socks and Burks back in Dublin, Rishikesh is all about Sandals and socks (with a special focus on camel toe effects); that's me now and I'm loving it.  

Right now I'm squeezed into the train from Rishikesh to Delhi watching the sunrise whilst breathing through my nose (the alternative is eau de piss) and in 24 hours I'll be on a flight to Europe.  Let me fill in the blanks:

• First steps to self realisation and I get certified
• Confessions of a guy addicted to girls
• I get brainwashed
• Naked men, massage oil and pillow talk 
• A very brief hello to Europe 
• The importance of sugar cubes
• I want a cow for a pet  

Sunset in Rishikesh last night with one of my fav cows....

As mentioned in my last post the yoga teacher training was intense.  There I was with my dream that I was to be in a room with 30 hot girls for a month with us all toning our bodies to perfection then going for a dip in the local river like a scene from 'Oh Brother Where art Though'.  My goals were to learn more but I also wanted to conquer the tough poses like Scorpion.  It didn't work out quite like that.

I've now got a Yoga Alliance certificate and after +12 hour days, 2 theory exams and 2 practical tests cannot wait to teach but my learning was more about just the course.  Turns out I'd broken my ankl back in December.  After pushing through the yoga teacher training feeling sick with pain I finally gave in to my pride and got it X-Rayed (at 1 Euro per xray - I tried to get my whole body done but they weren't impressed) and there was a itle hairline fracture.  It looks alot prettier with palm trees in the background :)

I spent alot of time on the sideines where I started to get to know the real me.  This time the specialist told me as I'd not rested the ankl I'd also done cartilage damage and might need an op later in the year. Finally it sinks in I need to slow down. No more running competitively, no more lindy hop dancing and no more rushing to meet a hot girl in Goa on a moped whilst under the influence (= ankl issue....eejit).

The week after getting my X-ray I also discovered that due to an administration blip I would have to return to Euroland to sort out a visa issue (not one I can resolve in a neighbouring country).  This is where I started to listen to the lectures we'd been having on the YTT course.  I won't bore you with the detail but my ego which thought I'd storm through the course, stay in India till the end of the year, get a facebook profile picture of me doing scorpion on the top of a mountain and get cosy with lots of hot yogitas realised that non of the above were going to happen.  Anger management crept in and I found solace in the river and good friends.

A number of things put things into perspective, mainly people in far worse situations and then I was washing my clothes and had a centipede run up my arm (the ones that have a sting like a scorpion) and it stopped half way up my arm and curled up and looked at me I thought it was gonna sting but it had the expression of "would you just cop on sunshine".  So I blingged up my crutches and got on with it.  

Me with one of the local ladiez

To add to the mix I'd come out of a relationship before I came to India which hit me way harder than I expected and I'd started to delve into a lot of self realisation reading.  The combination of that and the spiritual studies shocked my little naive self and I even starting to see the benefits of open relationships or being a monk and in Part Deux of this post I'll tell you more.

Instead of me doing a scorpion maybe this should be my FB profile pic (the physio band - my akle's best friend right now :) ):

After the YTT a gang of us headed to Kochi for some respite/excess of all the goodies we'd missed.  I behaved myself relatively well mainly owing to the fact that I struck lucky with my homestay and decided to properly rest my akle.   I pushed out the boat a bit and paid 10 euros/night but I got a room with a Memory matress (a mattress  not made of straw would have been a treat but this was my best sleep in India) and the mammy was a trained chef so the meals were seriously good.

The nights that followed the pure and healthy land of Yoga Teacher Training.  Good Friends :)

Last night of YTT - classic night in my cottage

After YTT - access to full Indian Menus and a nice reminder of Indian service - 2 hours wait for a lemon ginger tea!

Cochin - PLEASE open a decent restaurant with food AND booze - we needed it!

 

Me and Veena the Diva

My last night with the YTT gang - a bit of self reflection ;)

I'm now nearly in Delhi and as my neighbours on the train seem to all be glued reading this on my ipad I'll leave all the juicy stuff till Pt II when I'm back in Euroland.  

Namaste.

100% Pureflackattack

Post originally published 12th Feb.  Republished with working links and a completely different attitude to below.  It's been a very insightful last month, I'm now a qualified yoga instructor :)  The below is how a summary of the course for me.........new blog post in the next week!

Original Post:
>>
I've been doing a lot of hip openers so get ready for some very honest stories in this post. I'm supposed to be on a strict diet of yoga, life learning and no drugs, drink,sex for a month so let me see what gossip I can whip up from a quiet cottage next to a sublimely picturesque river in Kerala:

+ Yoga in a hot and sweaty room with Monica Belluci, Cameron Diaz and Katie Melua
+ I let you know what Yoga teacher training in India is really all about..... A very strict regime inc. Sleep, Eating and The Matrix
+ How to pronounce VJJ
+ I enjoy the silence
+ I get to swim in paradise everyday with snakes as companions
+ The self discovery of Mister Kris away from Facebook
+ My angry ankl returns and I have to finally face the fact that it ain't getting better
+ I break the news to my mum that I'm staying in India for at least a year

In my last few days at Varkala the Hindu festival of Thaipusam was being celebrated. India festivals are non-stop but I'd heard this involved hooks going into people's backs and them being hung up as a form of cleansing/liberation. I had to see this. Although being treated like VIPs as we were the only foreigners there I was not a fan of the festival; the pain was evident in everyone's face who was taking part and upon removal of the hooks there was a lot of blood and people fainting. Here's a taster of the firewalking:

In my last few days I met a nice little gang including one of them West Cork accents and then two rather lovely girls from Sydney who forced me to consume large amounts of rum and dance to tunes from quality artists like The Spice Girls till sunrise the night before I started my Yoga TT. The perfect warm up!

The leaving party the night before the night before I left. Funnily enough the girl with the best suntan is the one from Kinsale!



Two very funny Ozzie girls - Hazel and Reena....my last night of madness before YTT :)

After a short 5 hour train journey I arrived at Yoga Vidya, 20 minutes from Cochin and my new home for 4 weeks of Yoga teacher training.  

Kerala really is stunning; despite the clogged up tourist resorts such as Cochin and parts of Varkala it's description as 'Gods own Country' it's where most of the Indian Billionaires have their holiday home so a kinda tropical Shanti Shanti Dalkey.

I've been to a lot of yoga retreats and they have many similarities. When you arrive everyone is talking slower with a big smile and glowing faces. Sometimes it's a marketing ploy to relax you but this little gem is the real deal. Owing to the 30-35 degree weather it has just knocked Clare Island Yoga retreat off my top spot.

There was no lineup of students doing exotic poses, instead people were relaxing in their hammocks and soaking up the sun. The quiet before the storm eh. During a quick tour I was shown the place to cool down when the 35 degrees got too much. A stunning local river, 30 seconds away from my cottage. Emma and Lotte from de Nederlands were there; or as I like to refer to them Monica Belluci and Cameron Diaz. I was seriously going to be doing yoga with girls like this everyday for a month? Game on ;)
The river outside........BLISS




The 6 day/week schedule is pretty tough. Up at 0530 and pretty much non-stop Meditation, Asanas (the postures on a mat which most people in the West see as yoga), Theory (ayuveda, anatomy, sutras) mantras and philosophy until 2000. We are silent until 1000 every morning which is a concept I've only dabbled in before but I love. With the tropical bird song and endless amount of temple bells and chanting piercing the silence your mind slows down and takes in so much more. Every sense is tickled; I love hearing my pencil carve into the pages when I write my diary. It also means when you can speak you are speaking so much more sense which for my fellow students is a good thing!

I break the rules every morning when I go for a swim in the river in the break at 0930. The cook at the retreat cannot swim so I am teaching him. Seeing him progress every day and gradually move away from the edges (where you have to keep an eye out for reptile eyes above the water as it's a favoured place for the local serpents to come down and chill out) has been special. I swim 1-2km a day to keep my body awake as despite the yoga asanas being physically challenging the 35 degrees heat is a killer especially when every time you come up in a cobra pose (see below) you a presented with a hot girl sweating rising up in front of you.
So what really happens on a Yoga teacher training course? Some involve 24x7 silence from the students and have 10 meter high walls which can only be left 1 day every two weeks. Others are on a beach and allow you to escape whenever you want. This course is somewhere in between there is no sex, drugs or booze allowed here, and to give you an example of the rules I was told not to play any western music through speakers in my room. The teachings are a lot more philosophical than my little 21st century consumer mind has ever dipped into but it's refreshing.

Distractions on the Yoga Mat:

+ Spiders - Once in a while in class there will be a shriek and a tsunami of girls will spill into the middle of the room as a spidie has taken a stroll across the wrong mat. To be fair they are the size of a hand here.
+ Mosquitos - This place is like a dinner buffet for mossies. A big hall full of sweaty foreigners not wearing many clothes and not allowed to use Deet (Shanti Shanti!). Our Yoga master tells us that they are biting the body and we can ignore it as it's not the self. I disagree.
+ Digestion - Being in India you soon get used to conversations involving your daily output but as this is a strict diet which is pretty much raw and our poor little bods are still getting use to it and there is often an echo against a yoga mat during a deep twist. Just to let the world know - Girls fart more than boys.
+ Boobs. As Mr Tim Minchin says "We are just monkeys in shoes"
+ Sleep deprivation. This course is hard. Most days people are reading their theory books even during lunch so come relaxing in Savasana you'll often hear people snoring.......
Cobra time in today's class :)





Despite the course being with 30 very hot girls (and 5 cool guys!) 90% have boyfriends and rush to the WiFi spot in every break like crack addicts to then den to check their emails and get 5 minutes of Facetime with their loved ones. There is, based on sex being one of the fountains of life in yoga a lot of discussion and despite our lecturer having perfect English there are two words he has trouble with and as a result says 1) Evacuation and 2)Vizina (reminds me of vuvuzela....classic). The yoga philosophy content is a mix of history, definitions of Sanskrit and how we can apply it all in the modern world. To keep it simple, it's a bit like The Matrix but in Sanskrit.

Environments like this where there is a lot of silence and self reflection tend to get people emotical with a lot of tears. One girl has cried so much I'm surprised she hasn't become dehydrated. As for my emotions, they have risen up and not that it's all about decisions but I've now decided to leave Ireland behind for a while and stay here. It's a big decision for me as I miss my friends and home dearly. I've travelled a lot before but India has really got to me.  This simply crazy country offers a cocktail of both energy and serenity and I cannot get enough of it. I've extended the lease on my house and told my ma so it's official - if you want to come to India this summer come see me!

For my friends back home in Dubs you'll know my least favourite word is "ankl". After fractures and torn tendons mountain running and snowboarding my left ankl is like that of a 90 year old. Without boring you I resurrected the akle issue in Jan and and even had an X-Ray Indian style (the machine broke 1/2 way though using it so they took it apart with me in the room).




The issues is tendon so it's a slow healer and despite resting it in Jan six hours of exercise/day is just not happening right now. As the yoga master here says it's the course of the universe but I think it's just me not chilling out enough. As I've had everything western medicine can throw at an akle (rest being the main one and I'm still having difficulty with that one) I'm trying Ayuveda medicine; the oldest life science in the world. I had a typical Indian experience on the way to the doctor for my check up. There were no rickshaw drivers available so the CEO of the group of clinics just happened to be there and as I'm a foreigner he gave me a lift back on his Royal Enfield Bullet (the bike legends are made of here) whilst wearing his ice hockey helmet for protection. One of the most amazing buzzes in India is being in the countryside on a bike during sunset...asombroso. I went to the ATM in the local village and it wasn't working but a local guy on a scooter saw me and said he was going to another one which turned out to be 10km away in another town where there was a festival. As the only white boy I was part of the festival dancing whilst I did my banking! That my friends is India, even a simple trip to your doctor turns into a truly amazing night out :)

For now I am still on target to complete this course if I pass the exams despite me not being able to do any standing asanas (my akle really is a mess!). It's a big kick to my pride as this is something I've looked forward to for a long time. However, I remember a doctor telling me in Peru when I had pneumonia and typhoid at altitude that I would never walk the Inca Tail about 10 years ago. He was right and I had to swallow my pride, so three months later I ran it ;)

The lads washing an Elephant at a park on our day off last week.




Monica Belluci and my mate Betty 



My next blog will include profiles of all my fellow yoga students/teachers (big brother style) from the Indian version of Katie Melua to the Yoga Yoda instructor who is always saying "with practice make perfect we will". I'm not on Facebook for the month of February so if you want to catch me I'm on skype at chrisdflack.

For now here is my philosophy on life.

Namaste :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

I've been a very bad boy

Bugger.  I was being so good.  Yoga everyday, working in an environment without drink where the only promiscuity was between the local dogs.  Then Goa came along and reminded me of the dark side.  So the month before I train to become a yoga teacher I’ve been doing no yoga, hanging out with non veg girls with tatoos (controversial) and, having a bloody marvelous time. Highlights include:

• I return to the land of Poor Intimacy 

 

• I preach Sex Ed 'Justin Timberlake' style
• I say goodbye to some very special people 
• I am James Bond (for those of you who didn’t know already)

  

(please note this picture was taken before I started eating Indian cuisine)

• I finally start to find myself and get TURBANATED
• Love marraige vs. Arranged and...I find religion
• You get the chance to win a prize (aswell as reading this blog - you so lucky ;) )
• +++ GOOD NEWS +++ After all my winging in my last blog I got a 50% refund from my Hotel from Hell in Goa (see the review here)

Being back in the jungle was just what I need after the madness of Goa. Walking around in a perfect climate with beaming children saying Namaste Kriiiis and the thud of the local puppies finding their mobility against the back of your leg once in a while.  The mealtimes were hilarious.  You walk into a room of 200 children eating and feel like you are in a human bidding war as they all smile as hard as they can to have the foreigner sit next to them and then after doing the routine 'what is your name' pretty much ignore you (I am less interesting than rice!).  

As I might have mentioned before, I love the home of 18again, Bangalore.   There were some downsides though.  My fundraising colleague (who keeps reminding me that he is now studying an MBA) maintained his cultural naivety   On the first night in the hotel he put coffee and milk 'inside' the kettle and boiled it.  And at a grand old age of 25 I had to tell him how to use a western toilet, every night.  To put it simply, the twin room had an odor like a sleeper train and in the end I had to tell him to use the toilet sitting down.  Was it a challenging week? Erm, Yes.

Day 1 of Bangalore meetings I was suffering from a slight overindulgence in the Bangalore nightlife.  After a few hours kip and news that our driver (as an NGO we get a driver and car donated :) ) had cancelled we had to jump into a Rickshaw and head to do a shoot at a famous actor's house.  For those of you who have travelled in a Rickshaw you'll know that they aren't the best place to dictate a script for a film shoot on your laptop.....in a foreign language   To top it all off we got totally lost (normal) and the Rickshaw driver got out to get directions and forgot to put the brake on and the auto rans down the hill (not normal)

 

Me after 4 hours sleep chatting with legendary Film director, actor and poet Girish Karnad.  


The rest of the week in Banglore involved meeting senior policy staff in large corporates to partner with the school project KSV.  Last time we were there we met +150 companies in one week (speed networking) this time we met only 6 but they were the big guns and it was a great week for KSV.  One of my favourites was HCL, one of the largest Indian computer firms.  We had had a meeting cancelled and whilst my colleague (Mr MBA) struggled with the complex world of switching on his computer I decided to try and get some on spec meetings.  Electronic City and Whitefield are business parks that have both had terrorist attacks and are constantly getting threats so there are guards at all the really large corporates behind sandbags with machine guns.  Something, I hadn't seen since visiting Syria and quite out of place among all the polished educated Indians.  HCL was no different, with big signs stating 'Present Photo ID' at Security Gate.  Everyone was stopping.  I didn't have my ID with me so I walked straight pass security and to reception where I asked to see the CSR Director.  I only got 5 minutes of his time but my visitor pass was #007 and they never did a security check on me.   Another classic was that as the largest LCD producer in India they have DELL LCDs at reception :)

When you spend time working with someone in a hotel room you get to know that person pretty well. I'm guessing whoever I share a room with generally gets to know more about me than I know about them but that's the joy of being an only child right?!  So I tell Mr MBA all about my life and I learn about arranged marriage vs. love marriage in India and I try to mix that up with some of the cultural chats I've had with the more liberal Indians I have met here.  I won't bore you with the details but after a philosophical chat I ended up lshowing my colleague the below Justin Timberlake video.  I really hope I haven't ruined his honeymoon....

Note.  I respect the cultural disparity between the west and most of India.  I've had lots of chats with very conservative people here and the party crew and just felt the time was right to introduce The Lonely Island to India :)

On the sleeper train coming back I thought I was being a legend by being the first to jump on (as it was rolling into the station) to ensure my bed.  However, in my moment of pride I got overconfident and put my luggage under the seats (normally the premium spot) before having a look around.  Only issue was I'd packed my breakfast in there (I was in the Boy Scouts) and there was a rat colony on the carriage. 3 bananas full of teeth marks.  Lovely.

My last few days in at KSV were amazing.  I finished all my fundraising governance training and am confident I've taught the team to 'fish' ie developed a sustainable programme, put some solid fundraising processes in place (inc raising a fair amount of cash :) ) and taught myself alot about patience (...I still don't have much).   I had taken photos of kids in the school and people from the local village and as most of them don't have photos, let alone of themselves I printed them all off and took them round the village.  It was my Bob Geldolf moment as I had a stream of screaming kids skipping behind me and was promised chai at every house I made my photo delivery too.  I gotta admit, quite a buzz.  Here are a few of the +150 snaps:

Me having chai with Enok

Sujata ,the little girl I sponsor at KSV.  And me wearing socks in 30 degrees (the jungle had made my feet sick so I was looking after them!)

 

Some of the kids in the local village

The below video is a little taster of the school.  Most children are doing their academic studies so it's very quiet but you get the idea.  It's a pretty special place!

(note that Volunteer Marie was having a bad day due to the Monkies raiding her room - she is not normally zso grumpy)

The last few nights the we pushed the boat out and stayed up past 1030 a rarity in the jungle and a real treat for me to leave with a big group of kids all screaming "Goodbye Kriis" and a proper sendoff from the volunteers in the nearest town.  I'll miss the place, it showed me India without any tourists, an amazing projects and some very special people.

The sleeper bus from Dharwad didn't have any rats but despite me upgrading to Sleeper class (I got a bed!) I was tossed like a pancake for most of the night then at 3am the bus filled up all the empty beds with local workers travelling to Bombay which kinda changed the oudor of the bus a little and with 5 people per bed  meant my chance to sleep was gone. 

My trip to Mumbai was to Lovey (a friend I'd met in Goa)'s Wedding. I knew Lovey was pretty well off but I've been to the home of Indian Film stars and musicians and his place was blingER!  The wedding was a real treat.  Punjabi food, dancing and girls made me seriously consider changing race!  I even had a student of famous Indian dancer Nanzeen Gujral teach me moves on the dancefloor. My simple definition of bollywood dancing is alot of body isolation whilst pretending you are opening door knobs.  I also found that my beard came in handy as I got turbanated.

Me after I was turbanated with the prettiest girl at the wedding (exl the bride ;) )

The ceremony was pretty special as and I was so far behind on sleep I had a cheeky little snooze.  Lucky for me in an Indian wedding whilst sat on the floor sleeping just looks like you are meditating.   Working in Corporate Sponsorship I should be used to seeing the poorest people one day then dining in 5 star hotels when meeting important donors the next but I found it hard to deal with the wealth gap at the wedding after coming straight from the school.  You know you are talking to wealthy Indians when they say proudly that they spent their last holiday in Devon.  My childhood caravan holiday to Devon when all my friends were living it up in Spain should be noted.  At the wedding reception where the typical answer to "What do you do for a living" was Actor one guest said to me that they found me working with the poor people 'depressing' from behind their designer sunglasses.  Disparity, like in any developing country is something you see everyday, and lucky for me the majority of the wedding party were more down to earth.   

A few simple pleasures from Jan I wanted to share with you:

• Walking through a crowded train stations listening to music whilst dancing (throwing in the occassional bodypop or moonwalk which seems to work really well with a backpack).  Only issue is last time I did that I was listening to a mashup then the music shuffled to Fraggle Rock...
• Sharing headphones with a local on the bus and walking through a basic music discography from The Beatles to SHM (soon makes you realise that even The Beatles lyrics are raunchy!).
• Hanging off the side of a train or a government bus and just breathing in India (normally through your mouth)  
• Leaning out of the car and feeling the buzz of just how close that bus or motorbike handle bar is to your face

Fav phrases of the month:

• When having a chat about arranged marriage vs. love marriage with Mr MBA (bear in mind his is a LOVE marraige but based on very conservative principles).  "Are you sexually attracted to your girlfriend" No sir.  "Will you be sexually attracted to your girlfriend after you are married "I will have to be

• "Good Morning Afternoon sir"

• "It's very cheek in tongue"

• "Please yes, I must get off this phone conversation right now I have a foreigner in my office, yes very important"

• "Goodbye Kriis".......screamed at me by around 50 kids at the school as I left

A big thank you to all of you who called.  It is good to hear from people at home.  I even got excited when I heard a West Cork accent on the beach today and I'm not from Cork ;)

I now have a postal address so please feel free to send me A Valentines Card, bottle of fine wine or efferversent Vic C Pills (for some reason they don't trust pills that fizz here). There is little else I miss apart from you guys so as I'll be here until at least the Summer of 2013 why not send YOURSELF on a little holiday :)

My address: 

Mr Flack
c/o WaterAd India Liaison Office
403-408, 4th Floor, CNI Bhavan
16 Pandit Pant Marg,
New Delhi-110 001
India

So for now I'm spending a few days in Varkala in S. Kerala.  It's a gorgeous beach and very Shanti Shanti compared to Goa with less people and no bars on the beach.  I've made friends with a Swiss guy who has been travelling for 3 years and has a beard so big that mine makes me look like I'm going through puberty.  I've only been here for a few days but it's gorgeous to wake with a beach full of people doing yoga, tha chi, meditation and surfing amungst all the locals doing their puja.

I have found my favourite yoga teacher and hidden beach but this still is a tourist town so on the main beach there is the game of "boys watching girls watching boys watching girls" and I'll often join in as there are some damn fine yogi atheistics.  You can sit watching the girls go by drinking beer out of a tea pot as non of the bars have licenses.   The standard Indian tourist attraction sentence is the same here as other places "Hello Friend" "I have >insert product you are most likely already wearing so clearly don't need< for just 200 RS".  The only difference between here and Goa was that you don't get a pause then "Cocaine, MDMA" at the end.  I prefer it here!

Seeing as I'm only a few days from embarking on my Yoga Teacher Training course I have started to practice yoga again.  I've also been to a few Osho meditations and was quite alarmed that I left alone ;)

As far as finding myself.  I guess I'm now beginning to admit that, I am, a ginger.  I am still however, struggling with patience.  I had a date with a gorgeous indian girl in Goa and I left as she was 45 minutes left.  Shanti Shanti Chris!

For those of you who are worried that I'll be going cold turkey into the Yoga teacher training after a mad January, don’t worry here are some reassuring facts:

• I have been drinking at least one fresh coconut water/day to make up for all my impurities
• There are 30 girls and 5 guys doing the TTC course

I'll try to post some Yogi updates during my YTT in Cochin.  It's 0530-2130 for a month and with all those hip openers you might get to see a very different Chris!  After that I'll be starting my next project in Delhi with Waterad. Namaste.

PS.  Prize for the funniest comment of THIS photo.....

Happy 2013 – My Resolution: I’m staying here

The week before Christmas on the project was special.  I had some friends arrive and we taught the kids Charleston (Indian style – vid coming soon!).  The volunteers were also brought to tears as my visitors bought a bottle of wine from Europe.  We shared it between 8 people in metal cups.  Rock n Roll!

I sponsored this little girl, Sujata.  She is one of the most cheeky and funny girls in the school with a continuous smile just like the one below.  Her family have nothing and she would have ended up working as a domestic helper to bring in funds at the age of 7 if it were not for this school - long may she smile :) 

Some highlights from this blog:

• I leave India for a while and go to Goa - The Blackpool of India
• How to get spiked and still enjoy yourself - we got very lucky
• How to have a moped crash and still enjoy yourself
• I get a candle lit shave and a very odd finger gesture
• I miss my friends 

So for my Christmas break I headed off with friends to Hampi.  Leaving on the 0630 bus from the local village is a treat, walking through the morning mist with all the kids playing music.  The bus was unlocked as the bus driver had just woken up and on his way back from morning prayers.  He walked through the bus with his hand oozing incense smoke, a refreshing change from the usual morning odor on a bus.  We then set off towards the sunrise with the wind pushing the incense back through the bus and the driver impressing us all by obliging to the ‘no horn before 0700’ notice. 

7 hours and 3 buses later we arrived in Hampi, former capital of the Vijayanagara Empire.  With the World Heritage Site sticker came the Tourist prices and majority of punters in the town laden with dusty sunnies and white faces.  With the tourists comes a whole new retail focus; us white folk prove how simple we really are by walking like zombies towards the signs that say Internet, Massage, Real Coffee, Pancakes, Fresh Juice, Jewellery.  

The temples are very impressive and even the organisation and maintenance (special for india). However, even I got caught out by a tourist trick.  I was on my own in a temple and a young local girl came up and asked for a photo.  You usually ignore this as it’s a play for money but I gave in pretty quick and took a quick snap.  After which, as predicted she asked for 10rS and I walked away.  She then said “give me more or I’ll scream RAPE”.  I called her bluff and I screamed “Rape” and she ran off J

Being the travel snob that I am.  I decided to have some fun and categorise the tourists:

• The White Sneaker Brigade - People with Northface gear from head to toe and a camcorder glued to their hand, an EOS with a telephoto lens in their slingshot, a rehydration pack on their backs and a scared look on their face that they ain’t in Kansas anymore
• The Peace pipe crew – Arrive in a town, find a café they like to read Shantaram and are still there 1 year later having gotten dreds and ‘OM’ Tattoos all over their body
• Jewish Flip Out – The traditional post service gang from Israel.  Seriously pretty people on a mission to spread Jewish love at the same time as drinking the country dry and causing some serious damage.    
• Finding Emo - The people who walk around with their index finger and thumb joined all the time and sink into Lotus position at every photo opportunity in search of a life changing ray of light from the sun.  Oddly these are the group who smile the least.  Smile up Yogis!
• Daddy Paid Yay – Toni and Guy style dreds and Lonely planet app on their iPhone 5 with no stress as Daddies AMEX is hidden up their arse 

One of the locals in Hampi.  From his confused face I guess he's trying to work out whether I fall into any of the above categories!

In India cows are King.  And in Hampi that's his Temple!

Being a religious site in India Hampi is Dry.  However, despite the strict no drugs/drink policy this town is full of white folk many with bulging wallets so the friendly people at the restaurants have numerous special cocktails and Lassi which have some extra ingredients J.  After only a few ‘specials’ we did Yoga every morning on the roof terrace facing the Temples.

I  have to admit, I’m yet to touch any of the spiritual side of India.  From my experience so far that’s all in the North.  Yoga in the south is really for those who also want a suntan (I’m doing it in the south ;) )  However, with my gaze focusing on a temple I couldn't help but love yoga here every morning.  I also touched on my spiritual side (Mr Flack has more than just emoticons he has emotions!).  One sunset whilst walking through a temple we were invited to join a Rama worship and sat singing and playing the bells for quiet some time.  Music is indeed food for the soul :)  

On the same subject, as one morning after Yoga, whilst drinking a fresh juice, real coffee and pancake whilst checking facebook my yogi friend took a long breath and said ‘this is paradise’.  I had to admit, they were all things I’d missed but I get to wake up every morning in the jungle with happy children running past me through the morning mist of india so I disagreed (let's forget about the monkies stealing my food!). 

Next Stop Goa just a quick 9 hour train ride away :).  You know you are in sleeper class on the train when your neighbour wakes you up by using your head as a ladder rung.  Then when you walk to the toilet in a daze concentrating hard not to breathe through your nose you ignore where your feet are until it’s too late and your Havianas are in a pond of wee.

I was looking forward to my hotel in Goa.  I’d booked it 3 months in advance as the town where the Sunburn festival was on had 50,000 people arriving and was booked out.  Giving up all my luxuries at home to volunteer here in really basic conditions I’d ended up paying 20 times the amount I’d being paying for a room in Hampi per night as I wanted a treat.  Welcome to the Hotel from Hell.  I'll post my review up next time but let's just say I was surprised not to find a dead body floating in the swimming pool.

I was in the epicenter of Goa’s tourist zone and to me it really didn't feel like India at all.  Everywhere you looked were fat sunburnt English, Germans and Russians.  My favourite sentences overheard were:

“We don’t like Thailand as it’s too expensive so we come here”

“I’ll just have some tomato soup love but none of that spicy stuff”

“Oh Toni love, it’s too hot here.  I can't bear it”  Phone rings “ah hello love, yep me and yer dad are just sipping a beer in the sun, I tell ya love it’s perfect”

We took the moped for a spin up to some of the northern beaches where there were less Stan and Lesleys and more Kate and Wills on display.  Anjuna beach serves up a nice Balearic beach feel with some of the most aesthetically pleasing sites I’d seen in India.  Seriously – what are all these travellers eating to maintain such perfect bods?  I’m a yoga addict but I cannot refuse the Indian cuisine which means my six pack is now sponsored by Kingfisher Beer. 

Seeing as I was getting a bit ‘Robinson Crusoe’ again I decided to scrub up and go to the local Barbers before Sunburn.  As soon as I arrived there was a power cut.  So there I was with the guy hodling a blade to my neck under candle light.  

To top it all off he then gave me a free head massage which normally I’d have been pleased with but this involved a small generator on the back of his hand and him sticking his finger in my ear.  

I went back the next day to have a photo with 'chief fingerer'

Christmas morning arrived and I opened pressies on the balcony in the sun with a friend.  We then headed for the beach for some Kingfisher and pancakes for brekkie.  Christmas Lunch was fresh Shark with the Irish gang at our friend’s restaurant in Baga. I haven’t had such a funny Chrimbo lunch in a while so my spirits were still high when I later was knocked off my moped whilst heading back to see a friend in Candolim.  My leg got carved up and friend who's a nurse suggested I had a broken big toe as it came up like a golf club.  However, for the first year in a few, after all those mountain running breaks, 2012 involved no breaks just some crazy bruising which a full night of dancing cured :)

The Christmas Gang in Baga - Good Times!

Festivals are a funny one.  I grew up on raves and always remember it was all about the anticipation and the afterthought. Similar with festivals in Ireland.  Too much mud or tents being used as a toilet meant I’d never really gotten into them.  Sunburn was special.  The last time I went to a gig on the beach was a Radio 1 Roadshow at Skegness in the 1990s.  This was better.  So much better.  Asia’s biggest dance music festival, dancing to the world's best DJs, smiling friends by your side on warm sand with India's most beautiful people and not a Ketamine kevin in site.  Getting a foot massage on the beach after just a few hours of dancing whilst sipping a Cuba Libre watching the sunset.  This festival, however, had one especial ingredient.  Me and my friends got slipped a mickey finn.  Normally a very bad experience and not something I would condone; people get seriously messed up.  However, we got very lucky.  We lost the guys who'd done the deed and skipped around on night having a ball.

On one of the smaller stages I found one of my old fav DJS MIDIval Punditz

I don’t remember that much from the night apart from laughing till I cried and dancing on the floor at the front pit of the main stage (infront of c 20,000 people!).  

As I've said before 'once a raver always a raver' and when those old breakbeats kicked in I could have danced forever.  If there is anyone out there looking for a festival which does what it says on the tin then leave your wellies behind in Europe and come to Goa.  After a few days of Sunburn and big smiles on the beach I headed back to the Jungle for the monthly Arts programme.  

One of the school kids dressed up for a drama performance at our monthly arts programme

Despite serious fatigue I was delighted to be back.  My little jungle hut felt like an upgrade from my room in Goa with newly laid cow manure on the floor and an open roof showing the clear starlit sky (second of which thanks to the Monkies).  On my first day I was still so tired that I passed out with a snake on the floor (it slept in my yoga mat and was gone the next morning).  

Next morning I did my yoga class by the lake and got high-fives from all the smiling children walking back.  Happy Days :)

Every high has it's low and New Years was an odd one for me.  We were supposed to have a fire but there was a monsoon.  So instead, the kids celebrated it in style with all 200 of them running around in a state of hedonism for 3 hours to live drummers.  I left after the 6"5 school security guard demanded he give me a piggy back then through me to the ground.  I landed on my big toe (the one that only a few days earlier was under my moped!).  You couldn't take away from the fact that it was all hilarious though.

Despite +2,000 social media friends who like and comment all the time I only got one phone call from home.  I know a lot of you think I’m on one big adventure and I’m not denying I’m delighted to be here but it is also very frustrating.  I walked away from a lot in Dublin.  I miss my friends, I don’t miss my luxuries (although I’ll be glad to see both ;) ).  And being Captain Efficiency I miss stuff ‘getting done’.  I work with a team who say “Yes Sir” to everything and then don’t deliver meaning I have to babysit all the work they do.  The internet is so slow in the office that sometimes it takes 10 minutes just to open an email and most of the time Outlook just locks up.   I work in a dark office whilst the other volunteers work with happy smiling children all day.  I chose this, and have no intention of leaving but if it weren't for the buzz of the project I might think otherwise.  I'm on skype alot but the internet is so limited here I cannot make calls and there is no 3G here so forget mobile phone chat apps.  I have a phone number so call me if you get the chance :) 

+ 91 97 417 22 362

If you are still looking for a good New Years resolution why not sponsor one of the amazing children here?  Click here for more details
    

So my New Year’s resolution?  Well 2012 was very good for me with friends, family, health and career.  I’m starting 2013 in a country that is waking me up to something even bigger and for now I’m staying.  Happy 2013.   

I hope you enjoyed my blogs and photos in 2012.  Let's hope my camera survives the New Year!