Yoga - the fashionable antidote to everything...Part III

Here’s a clip from one of the most beautiful films of 2013.  Funnily enough it stars Terrance Stamp who was the Sex Therapist in Bliss, one of the few films ‘about’ Tantra (and apart from Mr Stamp’s acting  a pretty damn poor movie). 

I’ve been looking forward to this post….....:)

• Yoga of the purpose
• The Tantra conversation  - The bad boy of Yoga
• How to do yoga without doing yoga                       

Yoga of the purpose is a retreat I did earlier this year. It takes the power of yoga and shows you how to use it to set life goals.  After a bumpy start I ended up getting a lot from the course.  My purpose was to settle down, avoiding bright lights including random sex. The fact that the following week was a Tantra course was a test to me.  And it worked.  I’m focused on settling with less distraction.  So if you are just thinking of using yoga to be able to touch your toes or lift up the remote with your feet think again.  Although if you do want to touch your toes here's a little taster of what really bendy yoga looks like:

  

So, Tantra. Just like The Beatles bought Yoga to the western world, Sting bought Tantra to the western world by claiming to ‘go all night’ .   Tantra is all about the energy connecting us to each other and to the universe (Kundalini energy), and a very small part is about sex (although in today’s world that is what’s most relevant – Neo Tantra). And you’ll be delighted to hear that that is the part I’d like to talk about. 

The ice breaker at the Tantra course I went to this year was a group exercise (….easy tiger). 3 truths and 1 lie and the group had to guess the lie.  To give you an idea of how much of an ice breaker it was, my group included a porn actress and her 3 truths and 1 lie were the most innocent. Thought I’d just throw that in incase you get bored of Charades and need a new game at your office Christmas party this year ;)

So how does sexual tantra work?  Well sexual desire is a bad thing; at least according to most of the major religions ie. where western society has drawn a lot of our ethical codes from.  Firstly it encourages attraction which ends in suffering and secondly you lose vitality.  As a result many religions have their top ranks practice an ascetic lifestyle ie celibacy.  But we all like this desire right?  

The scriptures tell us that desire is blindness which explains what where the scary lesson most teenage boys are told originates.

Just to highlight one point I made earlier, the second reason that sexual desire is deemed a bad thing ‘as we lose our vitality’.  So, for the ladies that is menopause and for the gents that is andropause.  It’s down to the fact that we’ve knocked out too much sexual juice over the years and that, my friends is important energy.   For us lads if we evacuate (a favourite phrase I took from my yoga leader Krish, who in his monk ways could never say ejaculate), we lose our energy and the same for the girls with one of their 7 types of orgasm, their evacuation one, the clit orgasm.  It’s not just the lads who go all lethargic ie. are more attracted to the pillow than our partner, or PCT (Post-coital tristesse).   That explains Sting’s claim to go all night.  He manages to orgasm without evacuation and then deepens the experience by working on his energy centres.  And don't worry lads, it you won't have to sacrifice your orgasm, you go from 30 seconds of cross-eyed delusion to a lot longer.  

  

If we look at an orgasm as an expansion of consciousness in which we surrender then it’s the perfect time to meditate and I don’t mean get up light a candle and sit on your own.   Making Love is meditation. All your focus is on your desire which is not just pleasure (selfish) but loving (sharing).  And what’s the difference with Tantra?   Techniques to deepen the experience.  Despite most people thinking they are legends in the sack, sexology guides help us to have better sex and Tantra encourages that ie. Foreplay that lasts an hour instead of just switching the lights out.  Then  focusing on non-evacuation and the rest is all about surrendering.

So how is this yoga?  Well, the part about sexual desire was in the Vedas so instead of looking for inner peace by losing yourself Tantra teaches that liberation is possible in the world by using yourself.  It’s kinda like a shortcut.  However, why do you think celibate Buddhist monks devote their entire lives to living in monasteries under vows of poverty, living off of alms, trying to achieve enlightenment?  Because it’s excruciatingly hard work—and it takes a lot more than a weekend retreat or two and some coconut oil to get there.  

My experience at the Tantra retreat I went to was that sex is an easy sell to get people to ‘believe’ they are on the way to inner peace.  If you're going to spend months on a beach with beautiful bendy people relaxing, having good food and easy sex of course life is going to be amazing.  In the case of Agama, oddly the deeper you go the more I disliked what I was seeing. The more the apparent hypocrisy and inconsistency appeared with polygamy encouraging not compassion but anxiety.  However, much as I like lots of sex, apart from a few multitasking nights I’m a one girl guy as can I cannot split my compassion.   Tantra will deepen your love and spiritual life, but don't expect a short cut to enlightenment.  

We can apply this to any of our strong desires.  Let’s look at a wine, it can be drunk addictively, but if someone offers it to you at the right time, it's a divine experience invoked with meaning. The same idea can also be applied to sex: When it's done with the right intention—the intention of uniting opposite energies—it can be used to express joy and unity.

So this was a taster, I’m no expert.  If you want to know more here’s some tips:

•       Book for guys - The multi orgasmic man
•    Guide to massage for the ladies http://orgasmicdiscourses.com/10-steps-for-giving-a-tantric-yoni-massage/  This is very basic but focuses on the deepening of the experience through ceremony which is important (remember the Lonely Island video ‘I just had sex’  why not celebrate the whole experience and not just the end)
•         For massage skills I recommend New World Sex Education.  And remember every woman is different……damn you girls!

·         Tantra courses:

o   If you want a Tantra course on a tropical island where you all get horny in a room then are told to ‘go do your homework’ then I recommend: http://www.agamayoga.com/workshops/tantra1.htm 

o   Others that I’ve had recommended to me are from the following people:

•        http://deida.info/
•        http://www.loveforcouples.com/en/us.html 
•     http://mantakchia.com/events/tao-tantra/

Find your Shiva, Shakti, or whatever floats your boat and surrender to love.  Enjoy :)

So back to yoga 1.0.  It's pretty obvious that yoga in the west is losing it's heritage.  Yoga is branching out into new types such as laughing yoga, chocolate yoga and trace dance yoga. I think the word 'yoga' is getting diluted but so long as they are all doing good who cares?

The oddest class I’ve ever done was a simple asana class taught by a Korean girl with not so good English.  She got left/right and hands/feet muddled up throughout the class.  Twister Yoga…..if only we’d have had some coconut oil ;)  So choosing the right teacher is important and that’s down to what feels right with you.  I recommended teachers in Dublin in my first yoga post .   I can also recommend a very good yoga retreat. I’ve been to +20 at this stage but back home offers the world’s finest.  Clare Island Yoga retreat. Simply amazing. 

I practice yoga asanas daily and as I’m lucky enough to be travelling get to roll out my mat in exotic places like tropical beaches, ashrams and by stunning lakes.   They might sound perfect but I remember dogs licking my face on the beach, mosquitoes feasting on me in ashrams and a local fan of drum and bass testing his speakers on the lake.  So that place is up to you.  Right now I’m on the perfect beach and it is idyllic but I’m equally as excited about practicing in my house back in Dublin. 

Thanks to MacDalena Mitter for this shot of me in Koh Phangang:

So doing yoga without doing yoga?  I've read lots of books on yoga but am only scratching the surface.  Two booked which stand out are 1) The Yoga Tradition and 2) The Power of Now.  The first is a good overview of Yoga 1.0 and the other is how to live yoga in today's world ie. life is what happens whilst you're busy making plans.  Mindfulness.  If you practice mindfulness you are on the path to finding a greater sense of calm and focus.  The rest, whether it's rolling out a mat, doing breathing exercises, meditation, devotional singing or tantric sex is up to you.  We all like different things.

And what’s my next step with yoga?  I’ve taught classes in Delhi, a few on the beach in Thailand and even in a studio looking at the Himalayas in Dharmshala.  However, for now I am less concerned with teaching and more concerned with just living my practice.  As such, as I enjoying sharing my teaching to small groups I’ve setup a yoga co.  Suited yogi.   I have the website and social media all in progress but with limited wifi I won’t get them up and running until early next year. 

A big THANK YOU to Katya Karneychik for this logo design

My conclusion.  Is yoga a fashionable antidode?  I've missed out alot of parts of yoga which don't reach the pages of the tabloids but the fact that it is fashionable right now can only be a good thing.  And can you only discover real yoga in India? Not necessarily, it helps as India has a lot of people doing the same but as Kumare says - it's already inside you.  

As for my last words?  One part of yoga I didn't cover is attachment.  It's hard not to get attached when we are sharing love but bear in mind this quote from Osho (another guru with a grey beard).  Love yea all xx