J'ai fait un caca caca dans mon pantalon

I was a bit freaked, however, that is not what happened but a funny phrase I heard a girl say a few days ago....."Ou'est? - "DANS MON PANTALON"- ze french are zo romantic.  

That monkey surprised me by being so angry.   There is a new colony here and they really don't like us human folk.  10 years ago I was working with spider monkies in Bolivia and was used to them giving me a hug everyday.  I miss these lads......

Anyway, enough of my relationship issues. Here's what I've been up to:

• Easy India
• Bad Yoga
• I miss a good Shift 
• Happy Holi

It's quite hard to be lazy in India but in Rishikesh it's easy.  Along with Kerela and Goa,  despite my fondness for the place it's a long way from the bonkersville that is the rest of India.  I've had power, wifi and hot showers everyday here.  Despite missing Indian food I've eaten at western vegan restaurants and juice bars most days and my mattress is more than the average Indian 2 inches thick! The highlight, however, was in a the toilets of a cafe yesterday where they were playing meditation music IN THE TOILETS.  Rishikesh is like the Disneyland of yoga with of more mature yogis coming to get their Yoga MOT/NCT and young glowing girls (and a few guys) skipping around with yoga mats under their arms sipping lassis saying "OMG did you go to Surindher's class - I totally found myself melting into my mat,  I heart India".   Now, I love girls and I love Surindher's classes but in a world where the toilets play jazz music the phrase 'I heart India' needs a rethink.   

Some of the yoga classes are damn funny.   In one of Surindher's classes the mats were so close together that at one point I opened my eyes to find my big toe nudging a girls bum cheeks (like I said.....I LOVE his classes).  Five minutes later my neighbour  on the other side had her foot over my nose.  Life: It's all about balance.  The highlight of the yoga asana classes I've taken for me, however,  was when local teacher Deepak hopped ontop of me during a wheel and first stood up and did little jump, then went down into crow.  It was a beginner's class !  I held it for 20 seconds with him on top, I didn't have a camera and surprisingly my back felt splendid afterwards.  

It looked something like this......

The lowpoint of my yoga classes was my pranayama course.  I love pranayama and after training in the YTT then additional courses in Delhi I wanted to do one with the best teacher here so I signed up with taalls/ .   It worked out to be $40US per 2 hour class.   In Delhi I had been paying $1US for a 2 hour class (classes were in Hindi but you get the idea of the difference).   I turned up and despite being told it would be separate to their YTT it was a room full of YTT students (thank you Tattvaa yoga!).  I wasn't paying $40US for that so instead reinvested my rupees in more singing classes, massages, books and some inner child meditation classes (yes I am hanging out with me as a 10 year old - it's GREAT craic).  Everything also balanced out when after returning from the pranayama course I'd walked out of at 6am there was a storm and I rescued 1/2 my clothes which were on the balcony drying.  They would have all headed up the Himalayas had I stayed in the class.  Plus later that day I was retelling the story to a well known yoga teacher here and he said he'd give me some advanced pranayama classes for $5/hour.   Everything.......EVERYTHING happens for a reason :)   Having met people from 10s of YTT courses now, I am convinced I did one of the better ones.  If you are every considering it check out http://www.hathayoga-meditation.com/.

One of the many books I bought as a consequence of getting a refund from the course and WHAT a book :)

My projects are going well I'm even sticking my head in the classroom and teaching the kids some English at this school.  My favourite phrase was 'Nice to meet you boss' in a Michael Kane accent.  

Kids at the music school.....

Dinner at the music school :)

Traffic delays on the way to the music school.......a Cow Jam :)

I was also honoured to be asked by my friend the TEDx Ambassador for India to do a talk at their new seminar programme called 'The Shift'.  Now I love a good Shift but unfortunately it's end of April, my visa runs out in 2 weeks and I need a new passport so it ain't gonna happen.  I turned down another potential shift a few days ago.  My neighbour is doing an Agama Tantra course here and asked me as an ex-student if I could help her find her Shakti (that usually involves shifting). I declined her kind offer as I don't fancy her; which I guess means I know more about Tantra.  Dear Agama please stop producing sex robots and produce loving ones instead.

Last year I missed out on Holi the festival of colour due to a visa issue and I was gutted.   This year I spent the day with a friend at the music school I'm working (and learning!) playing with the kids (and their Grandpa brother cousin.......or Great Uncle as we say in English English!).   A lot of the local yoga schools and Mooji's satsang warned people to stay indoors and avoid the perils of the toxic paint.  However, once you got into the mess of it no-one cared - HAPPY HOLI :)

So I'll be back in Ireland in one month today and was thinking about what I'll end up doing career wise.   I've lots of opportunities but am not going to rush into anything.  Whilst I was writing my journal today an Indian guy sitting on the wall next to me picked up my pencil and stuck it in his ear and starting cleaning inside.  I've since disposed of said pencil but ....it gave me an idea for a niche in Ireland ;)

I haven't felt this at home since I lived in Ireland

You know you're back in India when you're checking out a pretty girl chatting on her mobile when she smiles at you whilst saying  "Hi yes I'm just calling to check on my stool results".  Hello India.

+ My mum (the highlander) is better

+  I become wise among the gurus

+ The birthplace of the universe 

+ I revisit my early yearnings to visit India

+ I'm moving back to Dublin

Since I was last in Rishikesh there was a national emergency during monsoon season with +1,000 lives lost and 120 bridges swept away in the region.  It's now tourist season and the locals are all on great form, despite the huge losses there are no signs of change apart from the huge Shiva statue missing from the skyline having been swept away by the force of The Ganges.  For the locals oddly being swept away by the Ganges is a blessing.

Before and during monsoon (just before he was swept away).  Not my photos...

Lots of the local shopkeepers and restaurant workers remembered me, as did alot of the old annual rishikesh old timers (mainly Osho heads) a warm community feeling I haven't had since living in Dublin. Only difference is the Indians are brutally honest, eg one of my first conversations with my old Barber.....

Barber: Hey KrishJii, you look the same as you did one year ago

Chris: lol, yes but less the suntan - I'm a bit whiter eh?

Barber:  Yes Ji, the white hair you have now make you look wiser

.......SILENCE

A Rishii is a wise person so I guess I'm in the right place :)

February was a tough month for me (see my last post).  My mum is stable now and has private carers but the parent/child role reversal was hard for me.  She might be a highlander but I'm not sure I am as I arrived in India an absolute wreck.

I ignored my own golden rule about travelling in India when I arrived.  This country is bonkers and if you think you can land from the west and just head out without a sniff of cultural shock then fair play to yea.  I always recommend to friends they relax and get a decent hotel on their first night.  I, however, decided to travel straight away.  Missing my six hour train so opting for a 10 hour bus sat next to a man who seemed to think his nose was a chimney and he was Dick Van Dyke; and that as the least of his hygiene issues.  10 hours of potholes and breathing through my mouth :)

I spent my first night in Haridwar so I could go and see the famous fire ceremony on this sacred part of the Ganges (Har ki Pauri).  According to Hinduism Haridwar was where the universe started.  Funny that, as I thought it was a hole.  The ceremony was on special form as it was Shivaratri (Day of Shiva) so there was an  extra amount of distorted noise, garish gold suits and lads dancing on parade vans dressed up as Shiva. 

Looks impressive but sounds like a car exhaust

The band uniform was a beany and trackkie bottoms - love it

I was soon reminded of the delights of travel in India as one of the parade vans ripped though some overhead electricity cables and a sparkling cabled bounced on the floor in front of me. I didn't react, my Indian instincts clicking back.  However, 1 hour later, after not sleeping for +30 hours and when it was lashing with rain, there was no power and I couldn't find my hotel I remembered that travel in India is tough.  I'd forgotten that northern India was cold in February and I only had one jumper and it was soaked through. I went home and had a cold shower (thanks India) and as I still had power on my netbook I  watched 'All is Lost';  a surreal experience watching a film about being alone (and soaking wet) on a sinking ship when you are in a cold room surrounded by damp clothes! 

I'd missed Indian Head wobbling and on the bus to Rishikesh I met Ramesh and his family from Kerela.  You don't see as much of the head wiggling  in the north and I was delighted when they all syncronised their wiggle when I started dropping in a few Hindi phrases.  I'm guessing in their case it meant 'fair play to ya'. 

Despite being full of tourists I chose to spend Feb/March in Rishikesh.  It's Guru season (they come to have Q&As called Satsangs) and the International Yoga Festival so a bit like the X-factor of spirituality.   A Satsang looks something like the below  (this one is with Mooji who is in Rishikesh right now :))..  Despite not having quite the humour of Monty Pythons 'The meaning of life' Satsangs generally make you feel like you know a lot more about why we are all here :)

Once back in Rishikesh the first few days were still cold and damp.  A Canadian girl I met said the weather reminded her of a trip to Ireland, only there she had had central heating and glass in the windows.  However, I had hot water and the sun soon turned up.   I spent nearly a month here last year  and had although overrun with tourists I'd loved it.  

As a tourist town they have toilet paper here and this is what some wise local brand manager thinks of ze French.  To be fair it's very soft and silky ;)

Here people don't ask 'do you do yoga' but 'what kind of yoga do you do'.  Feels a bit like clubbing in the 90s':  instead of 'are you on drugs' the 'what have you dropped'.......seems most of those kids from the 90s are now here detoxing mid life.   

This is the view when I sit in a group every night and sing........if you want to know the real me - pop down and check out the grin on my face ;)

My schedule is petty simple.  It's a dry town so early wakeup and usually yoga, then a mix of satsangs, mini treks and singing.  I'm also working on a couple of projects including helping a friend who is developing a film docu on Vegetarianism and the positive effects on climate change, and working with Roopak, the orphan with polio i met here last year.  Roopak is doing great, thanks to funding from friends Roopak is now full time in music school and good enough at vocals and harmonium to perform soon.  It's amazing to think he was begging just 8 months ago.  He's looking pretty sharp these days!

Nearly 20 years ago I got a promo tape (yes, I know......a TAPE) from a record company for Nitin Sawhney and the music was one of my first draws to India.  Aswell as working with the music school where Roopak studies to expand so as to work with more children I'm learning Ragas and Boles (Hindustani vocals) which is what's at the beginning of this song.  I'm finally singing the music that drew me here in the first place. And my gurujii is the son of the teacher who taught The Beatles to play Sitar.....the icing on the cake :)

Despite feeling very at home here I have decided that this India adventure will wind up mid April.  I've been living out of a bag for 18 months and have had some very special experiences and met incredible people who have shaped my life.  However, Iife on the road can be lonely and I want some grounding.  The weather in Dublin is shite but my friends there are amazing, that in combination with a need to be closer to mum for a while means I'll be back in Dublin full time as from late April.   Lots of this please..........