My name is Kris and I'm looking for a wife

So let's make this easy.  Click on the below bride finder.

Splendid.  Looks pretty simple to me. Or is it?

Arranged vs. Love marriage is a big topic in India.  Before I came here my mind had mostly been shaped by the classic UK Movie East is East (despite being about Pakistanis), when the two lads are introduced to their future brides at the family ceremony.  The prospect of the brides is so dire that another family member says "Have you seen the state of them two.  One of 'em's got a moustache like Dad".  

Having been in India for nearly a year, I now see things slightly differently.  Here are a few quotes from my reading on the subject:

"Don't sleep with strangers that is what arranged marriage is for."

"In love marriage you marry your own girlfriend & in arranged you marry someone else's girlfriend"

"Romantic love seeks to extend the present while the arranged marriage aims at securing the future."

The subject is so popular in India that there is even a famous soap opera.  I haven't ever since it as anytime I watch Indian TV I get nausea from an overdose of chest hair and medallions.

For those of you who've only seen a western description of an arranged marriage I need to update you.  It is still a very different setup to what we are used to.  And there are still sad stories of suicide where a person is in love with someone committed to another.  These are, however, rare and although underage 'forced' arranged marriages do still happen in a small number of communities in India, they are, luckily becoming the minority thanks to Education campaigns such as the below.

The majority of arranged marriages today are more flexible encouraging a choice of future spouse for both the man and woman.  There are plenty of matrimonial websites where you can choose.  The only difference between match.com and shaddi.com is that in the later you know that marriage is the goal.  On match.com it could be a friendship/shag/friend with benefits/relationship/therapy/marriage. In the west, even the mention of the word marriage early in the dating game (although it's good to mention if you are already married ;) ) is a sure way of scaring people off.  

Ad like these are normal here:

I think this girl should just be called Little Miss Adjective.......supercalifragilisticexpiali

I love the contrast between the detail on the left then the one on the right.  Basically if you live in Delhi/NCR and the astrology matches - happy days!

She's meritorious.  Seriously she deserves YOU!

A few medics in the family ......just missing a plastic surgeon/dermatologist (......a tall one)

I should mention that an Indian friend recently told me that the internet matrimonial sites were less of a global dating service and more of a horse trading fair. I'm not registered yet so cannot comment ;)

Here's a view on it if it goes well......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iri3lM8fQaQ

If that's the outcome, I REALLY need to meet his mum.

Many of my friends and colleagues in India are in arranged marriages and are delighted with life.  There are also sad stories of bad matches, but that's the case in love marriages after the initial 'Barry White time' runs out too right?  It might seem hard to imagine if you're from another culture but you have to take into account the way people are brought up here. The culture is so conservative that even flirting is considered taboo in many communities.  Kissing in public is illegal.  I should be in prison for life ;)  The idea of going out on the dating scene for many is so foreign that the support of the family to find a future partner makes complete sense.  My mum  once hooked me up with a friend's daughter.  She was an NGO worker, funny, intelligent, and fine & devine on the eye.  Fair play to my mum, I'm not sure what planet I was on but I didn't go on a second date due to the bright lights of 'other possibilities.'  And, for me that is the issue with arranged marriage. When people have experienced cultures where love marriage is the norm.  Where they've seen how it doesn't have to be arranged, and in today's global society it's impossible to hide from.  A taste of the west opens up Pandora's box to H/Bollywood romance stories with simple get out clauses such as affairs and easy divorce.   The movie industry pumps us full of lust, romance and baby oil (...coconut is better ;) and yet the real love stories should be about 'staying together' such as Song for Marion and Amour.  I'm allowed to get a little sentimental there as it was my dad's anniversary last week and that always reminds me what an amazing love marriage they had.  Right til the end.

From the weddings I went to last year, a favourite in Ireland (...they were all great!) involved the congregation singing "All you need is love".  The wedding focused on the couple's love, not the bling effect of the wedding car/size of the cake/castle like venue.  The average cost of a middle class wedding in india is +$30k US (see here).   Thought that might surprise you.  Quite the 'loveconomy'.  And yet the reality is you don't need a marriage for that.  But let's keep society happy ;)

Whether it's love arranged or arranged love (built 'like lego' according to NAVE!) , if there is flexibility to chose your partner, the reality is same same.

All together now.......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OuYLGHkrBk