Thursday, May 2, 2013

India - I love you ..I love you not....I love you.....I love you not - Pt I

Now that I'm settled in Delhi, I wanted to give you an idea of some typical things that happen daily:

Safe spitting

  • I was in a taxi at the weekend and the driver opened the door whilst driving about 60kph to spit.  He wasn't wearing a seatbelt and nearly fell out.  What I DIDN'T Get was that his window was open - why not spit outta that fella?
  • The next day I saw a bus driver do exactly the same thing......a BUS driver!
Time Savers

  • The other day I was in a rickshaw and we slowed down as a car was doing a three point turn in a narrow road.  Two rickshaws tried to rush past in gap either side and the car reversed back and they all clamped together
  • A week ago I saw an ambulance going the wrong way around a 4 lane roundabout during peak traffic
Top Security

  • The hospital where I go for physiology has pretty extreme security measures.  They have 5 armed guards on the main reception with a security scanner which everyone entering must go through.  However, if you walk around either side of the building there are at least 5 other entrances you can just walk through with no-one checking 
So I am now living in Delhi, a city it would seem that has an intern from Failte Ireland working in their tourist office:


When I arrived in Delhi I went to an akle specialist  (I'll explain the spelling one day!) .  I had an MRI and the results were a bit of a shock.  He was surprised I could still walk.  He obviously had never met my ego (please note Mr Ego that if I'd gone to a proper doctor in Jan I'd be fixed now!):



The immediate prognosis was that surgery was needed.  However after daily physio for the last three weeks things are going well so I might not need an op.  And as for how it effects me day2day, no sports (and a little gutted as I have a scholarship from the Delhi Dance Academy to learn Bollywood!) but I can still do alot of yoga.  Some poses don't involve the akle at all :)




Delhi has surprised me.  I really wanted to work in Bangalore as I love the climate there and the party scene is good.  However, seeing as, apart from one part my life I'm pretty much living as a monk at the moment I love Delhi.  It still has the pure madness of an Indian Metro city but you can escape.  For example, where I work is next to Parliament, the streets are tree lined without many pot holes and there are hardly any car horns.   That's where I work, where I live is pretty much the opposite but more of that later.  

There are plenty of horror stories of people arriving in India and being mobbed by Rickshaw drivers (or Madar Chod's as I like to call them in Hindi). I'm yet to witness that at the airport. Instead when you arrive in Delhi you can use the shiny new AirportExpress Metro.  Bear in mind you will be the only person in your carriage as for some reason (well publicized maintenance work last year which is now fixed which wasn't well publicized) no-one uses it.  The AirportExpress is the cheapest, quickest and most luxurious way to get to the city centre and yet it's empty.  

When I first arrived here I stayed in the building where I work which is owned by the Church of North India (CNI) so there are a lot of Jesus fans here.  The building is a 5 story block made up of charities.  The accommodation was 2500RS/night and the food was 250RS for school dinner style meals (that's c.40/4 euro and crazy money for here).  Being in the parliament district a large political party is next door and their canteen serves Thali (mix of Indian food) at 50RS so guess where I ended up?  Politics vs. Religion eh.  It was quite odd staying at the CNI, I wasn't allowed to go on the terrace to practice yoga as there had been suicides up there so was told I had to do it in the road or on the local roundabout.  It might have been a mis-communication but lads....I take these things VERY seriously ;)



I now live in a hotel in the middle of one of Delhi's biggest markets (Karol Bagh) and am working 5 days a week so after my time in rural India kinda feel like I'm back in the Matrix.  I am, however, loving it.  I wake up most mornings with sunrise and 6 days a week do Yoga on the roof terrace where instead of seeing other yogis (as in Rishikesh) I see workers washing themselves (direct from watertanks) staring at me in amazement that I'd be up on a roof so early.  I'm also often joined by Hawks and Eagles who swoop overhead.  An amazing way to start the day.  

If I've time I then go to the National Institute of Yoga which is next to my office for an hour of meditation, pranayama and mantras.  As it's government funded the classes there are 500RS for a month (that's less than 30 cents a pop).  Bear in mind that Indian yoga is different from how we do it in the west and the Institute is a classic example.  The instructors are guys with pot bellies in their 40s often wearing pinstripe wool trousers 'Simon Cowell style' hoisted up to their nipples with t-shirts and bright retro American Sneakers (like a 1980s PE instructor).  The classes themselves are pretty disorganised with people doing their own thing, teachers shouting out random instructions and correcting postures with brute force.  Lucky for me the meditation class is amazing, it's in the most chilled room (underground!) I've ever meditated in and I love it.  It does still, however, have it's funny moments.  There is a lack of co-ordination of the mantras and pranayama.  Whereas in a western class you'd get a group of people sweetly chanting OM or breathing in unison together this place sounds like a choir of the the walking dead all having epileptic fits.   Despite that the class is good! At 7.30 in the morning the place is a pretty cool vision, there are nearly 500 people in various classes (including a bank of baths for people to perform Neti which I prefer to do at home!).

Here's a photo of the meditation hall (not my photo)





I have a few options getting to work.  I was going to cycle but based on my akle that will have to wait a few months.  The options are:

  • Metro 20RS but a 40 minute heat either side in the heat 
  • Non AC Bus 15RS but a long wait and a HOT bus
  • AC Bus 25RS a long wait and AC often not working
  • Rickshaw 50-250RS  - The quickest way to work 
  • Taxi - 200-400RS - Strictly for those not wanting to ruin their perm
90% of the time I choose the Rickshaw.  And herein is my introduction to corruption in India.  According to the World Bank, India was seen as one of the most corrupt countries in the world in their latest index (Feb 2013 -  http://data.worldbank.org/indicator/IQ.CPA.TRAN.XQ/countries/1W?display=map).  A bitter shame for a country which sees itself as a world leader.  The picture below is how The Economist sees India in it's recent articles on India's position in the world economy.



From the street level, Rickshaw drivers rip off foreigners and locals alike and despite the police stating they must use the Meter they don't (and the police won't help you).  Every single day I have to haggle on the price to get to work,  on the meter it's 30RS but excuses such as "much traffic'"(....yes, it's DELHI!) have pushed it up to 250RS.  The old trick of smiling and walking away normally works but I've also built an armour of useful Hindi Swear words.  A useful phrase for travellers fed of up Rickshaw drivers is "Mere Maathe Pe 'C' Nahi Likha Hai" (pointing at your forehead when you say C......C is also a word that begins with C in English).

Corruption, unfortunately is everywhere.  I have to pay a bribe at my hotel to have someone stay in my double room (no charge for men, just women) and I've countless friends who have been bribed by the police.  And that's just at the ground level.  

Rickshaws also have an interesting way of marketing their services.  I'll often be crossing a busy road and will have spotted a safe line across 4 lanes of busy traffic when a Rickshaw will cut me up and say "Hello Friend, Connaught Place (a tourist hub here)".   However, If you get a fair deal, and aren't travelling too far, they are the only way to travel.

Me and a friend from Dub in the back of a Delhi Rickshaw



Here's a video of a 'quiet' (!) battery operated Rickshaw in my local market


So what is my current project?  I'm working for a Global Sanitation NGO with a vision of a world where everyone has access to safe water and sanitation.  Sanitation is the #1 killer of children in the world today.  If you want a quick overview check this video out and see why people like Matt Damon and Shahrukh Khan are involved.



I experienced my second bout of diarrhea in 6 months two weeks ago.  I was sent to hospital from work after going to the toilet 30 times in one day and feeling 'slightly dehydrated'.  Hospital wanted me to stay in for 2 days to re-hydrate but I preferred the AC of my hotel room.  I was lucky.  For someone in a rural situation without immediate access to re-hydration the problem could have been fatal.  It's a huge problem here.  Lucky for me I was fixed in 24 hours, despite the compassion of one of my co-workers (who when I said I had a bad tummy poked me in the stomach - clean up on aisle 9!)

My role at work involves me helping to develop a strategy for the local office to setup a fundraising and communications function over the next 5 years.   It includes everything from getting the Donor Management System (yeah - I thought I'd left the world of IT /CRM!) up and running to finding celebrity ambassadors.   I love the project and will let you know how I get on over the next few posts.  My day is a long way from  what is was in KSV where meetings looked like this:




I'm now back in the world of whitboards (and importantly......electricity :) ).  I do miss KSV though :)  At lunchtimes, I either sit in the car park with the security guards practicing my Hindi or go for a walk.  The local area is pretty spectacular. There are two of Delhi's largest Sikh temples within 5 minutes walk and sometimes I'll drop in and sit at the back and meditate.  It's odd being back in an office environment; there are however, a few little quirks.  There have been a few small earthquakes since I arrived which is a bit like having a trip to Thorpe Park whilst sat at your desk (sorry Ireland but Tayto Park does come close to the Richter scale).


My evenings here normally involve a nice bit of interferential current therapy (hmmm pins and needles) along with a bit of wobble boarding for my akle at the hospital.  Unless I'm entertaining visitors i then usually read, watch documentaries and listen to podcasts.  I'm quite the nerd.  Books I'm reading right now include: 



Only a few years ago it would take me months to finish one book (and that was ones with lots of pictures); now as a big fan of the Kindle I love multi-genre reading - it rocks :)  The sort of docs and podcasts I follow are generally around TED, Food Matters, Yoga type stuff.  I also waste way too much time in the mind mushing whirlpool of Facebook.  

I did have a big night out last Friday.  The famous Indian singer Raghu Dixit was in town.  Raghu is an ambassador of KSV the project I used to work for and wanted to meet up at his gig.  Just to rectify my previous blog focus on the inconvenience of his surname this man IS A LEGEND.  I have rarely met such a down to earth celeb and he made 'me' feel like a proper VIP at his gig.  After a swarm of people drowned him when he came out to warm up on stage he walked over to me and gave me a big hug.  I felt kinda special.   This was a unique gig for him, an exclusive ticket only event in a small club and I liked being able to be civilised and sit down and drink a beer.  I wasn't prepared for the rush of moshing at the front of the stage and for Raghu at one point saying "Hey Mister Kris, you are my guest and you're not dancing - come on down the front".  How do you say "I have a busted akle" to a rock star in the middle of a gig?  So I joined the crowd and as I made it to the front he started playing a ballad.  I've never been to a gig and been standing when they play a ballard.  Unless you have a candle to hold or a girl to lean into what the feck do you do?! I looked up at the big video screen on stage and saw the head of a balding guy nervously twitching from side to side. It was me.  Thank you Raghu, a classic gig and good plans for you to do much more work with KSV.  


That’s enough from me for now, in Part II I’ll be completing a few bits of cultural feedback as promised last time inc:
  • Why Indians are one of the least altruistic people in the world (WORLD GIVING SURVEY) 
  • Why Indians have bad manners (LONELY PLANET)
  • Why women in India have a hard time (REUTERS)
  • Why Gang Rape in India is part of the culture (INDIAN TIMES)
  • Why Indians have no concept of noise pollution (MR FLACK)

I’ll also throw in some additional views on Rabies, Shopping, Indian Fashion and Getting Gandhified.
 
Namaste :)

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