India - I love you ..I love you not....I love you.....I love you not - Pt II

In this post:

• The dark side of Delhi
• I get up close and personal with Gandhi
• 45 Degrees Celsius winds - If this was Ireland people would be going to the beach at night!
• How women are treated in India and why it needs to change
• Macho men and Rabies shots
• I make a roundabout apology for some incorrect content

12 months ago it was the start of the Irish summer 2012 and after one day of sun my neighbour Niall took his BBQ out for 'breakfast'.  In his words “you never know how long it will last”, and how right he was, for we didn't see the sun then until Electric Picnic in September.  This year is a little different for me.   This morning, as usual I came to work by Rickshaw and the driver shouted ‘natural AC’ as I we were driving off.  Natural AC today is 45 degree winds.  I cannot complain, I love the heat, so long as I know I have water and shade close by but it reminded me of a trip to the sauna at my gym back in Dublin.  Two old men were talking about Southern Spain and one said  “I don’t like it down there in the summer, it’s too hot” as he turned over the timer for another 10 minutes of sweat and threw water on the hot coals in the Sauna.  You never can win can yea?

The president's house a few days ago.  So hot here everyone has moved out!

I failed to win this last weekend.  The curtains in my hotel room were taken down for cleaning and I was told I would get them a couple of days later.  When I asked at reception how I would sleep considering my window faces the sun that rises at 0430 I was told “you should close your eyes sir”.  A moment of enlightenment ;)

I have an apology to make for my last blog.  I made a big mistake and was corrected by an English friend who has lived here for more than 20 years.  There is no correct way to go around a roundabout so long as it’s ‘around’.   So, I was a little taken aback this week when content with seeing cars coming in the opposite direction on a roundabout I saw one reversing.  A Police car.  Legend.

Now, I’d like to talk a little about Delhi.  Delhi has a bad rep with backpackers.  They all stay next to the main train station and complain of noise, heat and dirt.  That’s probably cause yeas are in the middle of a big market next to a load of diesel trains.  Delhi might be the capital of one of the most intense countries in the world but it is a complete treat for tourists and although it doesn't have white sandy beaches or peaceful mountains I recommend backpackers give it a shot.  I’ve had more visitors here in my first two months than I had in my first year in Dublin, and here’s some of what we've gotten up to:

The largest Hanuman in the world.  5 mins walk from where I live.  Built on a roundabout next to the metro.  Nice planning lads.

Hanuman from the Metro.  If this was the USA he would wave when the train went past

Inside Hanuman.  Karina and I had just done Puja......honest

Humayun'sTomb and Karina's scarf

The Red Fort (or 'Fort' as us colourblind peops like to call it) with Lea-lee

The Lotus Temple (sorry for the photo cheat here...this is a google image search - my camera had heatstroke but this was exactly what we saw!)

I also managed a weekend away with a friend from back home, Neringa.  I chose Rishikesh as I wanted to go back to see Roopak.  I didn't expect it to be so different.  Last time I was there I was on crutches and even saw my crutch I'd left at the guest house reception as proof of just what they do to their residents.  Being able to walk around vs. lifting myself on crutches meant that Rishi felt like a minature village and I saw lots of stuff i meant to go to last time.  

Arti at Parmarth Niketan Ashram

Shiva chilling at Sunset

Roopak with an upgraded laminated A3 sign and a new haircut!

The travel to Rishikesh was the most entertaining I'd had in a while.  We had a train booked leaving Delhi at 0530 in the morning.  The hotel had booked a taxi to the specific train station (it was one I hadn't been to before).  Our taxi driver spoke good English; when we arrived at said train station and I saw no signs in English I asked him if it was the correct station the response was "Yes Sir!"  After the taxi had driven away we discovered that it wasn't, infact the correct one was 30 minutes away and our train left in 20.  For those of you who have been to India, you know that you cannot just rock up at the train station and book a ticket.  That would be too easy.  As a result, our only option was to get a bus and there are 'officially' only scheduled nightbuses to Rishi so we weren't too hopeful.  Lucky for us, after another hour in a taxi we arrived at the bus station just as an AC bus with reclining seats (imagine an office chair from the 1950s)  was just pulling out.  We got the bus, and the best thing was that we beat the train.  I love it when a plan comes together ;)

My favourite comment heard in Rishi was from a Swarmi when talking to him about gurus. I mentioned a few that I had seen recently and he said he hadn't heard of them, he said "It's funny, there are so many Gurus these days that being spiritual has almost become like going to a supermarket".  Classic.  Next time I go to Rishikesh I'll be heading towards the Himalayas as due to daily physio for the last 6 weeks my ankle is well on the way to recovery :) #thankyouamazingphysioteam@gangaramhospital

On the way back from Delhi, as I was going straight back to work, I pushed the boat out and spent $10US on a ticket on the Shatabdi Express.  When you travel in sleeper class the entertainment is the window and talking to strangers, AC Class everyone has laptops and on the Shatabdi Express everyone has bleached their skin so they are whiter than me and has a tablet.  Instead of chai sellers shouting down the aisle you get train staff wearing bow ties and delivering all inclusive food and drinks.  I'm back to travelling sleeper class later this week but it seems 'any' travel on Indian Rail is a delight.

Back to Delhi and there were still more tourist sites to see.  One which I had overlooked and luckily Ms Martin told me about was the Gandhi museum. I love Gandhi, as you'll read later and loved this museum.  

Me hanging with Gandhi and wifey Kasturba

And this is where the fun begun.  The interactive part of the museum....

Below the panel shown in the photo were a number of small touch screen tablets all showing the titles of various newspapers and periodicals from India.  Depending on which one you touched, Gandhi's eyes would  change to indicate his reaction to the content.  He went from crying to being angry. It was pure comedy.  However, there was one exhibition that stole the show (and I'm gonna have to return just to get a photo).  There was a set of dolls representing people who'd been influenced by Ganhi.  All three black men, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther-King and President Obama were based on the same mould which looked just like Will Smith, only difference was there clothes.  Don't worry I'll get a photo next time!

So, more about Gandhi.  There are some issues about India that I wanted to cover off and he is one of the people I believe has had a massive positive influence on the culture here. Here's my top 4 (I'll be talking about them more in my upcoming posts).  Every nation has heros but these four unlikely partners are what India needs more of:

1) Phoolan Devi - She suffered a life of multiple rape and rejection from her family just for being a girl.  She stood up to society, fighting as a bandit and eventually became a politician.  In India in 2013 there is a rape on average every 22 minutes and 1/2 million  babies are aborted every year because they are girls.  According to Reuters this is the worst country for women to live in.  Despite having an incredibly violent life, Phoolan was a truly inspiring figure in Indian history and as someone who claimed equal rights to men a role model for today's Indian women

2) Buddha - From the little I know, Buddha never wished to create a religion he just wanted people to practice his 4 nobles truths. i) All life is suffering ie. we are never satisfied ii) Suffering is caused by desire, iii) There is a way to stop suffering, iv) The chosen noble path which in today's world is primarily to stop being attached to things.  Losing attachment is hard but the moment you do you stop suffering.  It's simple!

3) Rancho from the movie '3 idiots'.  The most inspiring movie I've seen in a long time.  When you live here you realise that India suffers from grandiose ideals.  Yes, this is an amazing country, but behind the intensity of the streets there are some serious cultural issues. 3 Idiots takes on the fact that the education system focusing on cramming as opposed to creativity needs to change, the fact that happiness is not achieved by bling, the fact that women should be equal and more, all in a very funny way.  Rancho is the star and in my eyes a legend.  3 idiots is the all time box office no.1 here.  It's a long way from the traditional Bollywood stereotype of macho medallion men with fans blowing on the set to make their hair ripple and girls creaming themselves every time a man talks to them. I just wish 3 idiots was actually true.  You can see the whole movie for free at goo.gl/0Iw7u (although I have to admit I watched the first 10 minutes before coming to India and didn't get it and yet now could watch it again and again)

4) Gandhi.  He wasn't perfect, he married an under age bride, and showed little ethnic diplomacy in his early days in South Africa. However, this man did some amazing things.  Imagine winning a battle in which your fellow country men are being killed on mass whilst you remain calm.  That's what he did against the Raj (my ancestors) by preaching non-violence.  He managed to get this country independence from the Brits and always stuck to his principle of non-violence. 

So there we have it.  India with a history of non violence, not having attachment, fighting for women's rights and telling it via a funny story.  So what went wrong?  

I'd been in India for 5 months before I came to Delhi.  I'd never felt threatened, or heard of problems with women travelling.  Delhi is different.  As soon as it's dark a sinister  cloud comes over the city; women do not travel alone after sunset.  I'm quite used to being stared at for being white but when you travel with a girl on the metro at night it's like feeding time at the zoo.  When I saw the headlines last year of the gang rapes in Delhi I thought it was maybe a one off occurrence but recent rapes are not isolated. Prejudice towards women here starts in the womb, culture then insists on treating women as second class citizens.  45% of women in India get married before they are 18 and according to the UN 70% of women 15-49 are victims of beatings or coerced sex.  In a culture where a majority of the population still think that a rape victim should marry their rapist there is a drastic need for change in legislation.  The police don't help matters; there is a trust deficit as the majority are male and when it comes to justice 1 in 4 rapists get convicted so there is little deterrent.  

I think a big issues is that sex as a topic is suppressed here.  I wrote previously of a colleague who when asked if he was sexually attracted to his girlfriend (note 'love' relationship, not arranged)  he said  "no sir".  Then when I asked if he would be sexually attracted to her after marriage he said "I will have to be sir".  Let's face facts - there is nothing wrong with someone being sexually inclined.  It's a 'Basic Instinct' (see the rom com from 1992 for more).  The issue is attraction vs. obsession and modern times are making this increasingly difficult with the internet (porn) influencing men here that women (mainly white) are all 'up for it'.  This is further encouraged by us westerners (and I've been to blame for this before) by not respecting the culture and openly showing affection.    It's a real shame that a culture that created the karma sutra and tantra is now a complete mess when it comes to sex.

There is a growing movement of very independent women here.  India had it's first female prime minister in the 1960s and so hopefully this will change.   However, in a country that's main influences are cricket and Bollywood the 2012 movie hit 'Hinglish Vinglish' encouraged the same same story.  The story of a wife treated badly by her husband who went overseas and experienced someone from a different culture showing her the respect and love she deserved yet she ran back to her ill mannered husband as it was the 'right thing to do'.

There is also a big issue that men need to face up to here.  Women are equal.  Yet I've seen a level of machosim from the lads here that I've never witnessed before.  So, the UK has hooligans and Ireland has Limerick, but Indian men need to try a little taste of India's spiritual heritage.  Men's stress levels here are crazy, all tensed up with their bullet moustaches, bollywood hairsprayed mullets and hand firmly on the horn of their car.  The biggest tourist pull right for westerners is for India's spiritual path and yet the majority of locals ignore such amazing tools as mediation, yoga, good nutrition and instead opt for a fast lifestyle and dreaming of driving a BMW.  

I had first hand experience of barbaric machoism last weekend.  I feed some local street dogs as I like to go hang out with them and prove that people can be kind to them. 

The local street dogs:

It might be slight guilt as two weeks ago I stood on a dogs head (I couldn't see it was pitch black - no street lights where I live and the cars park close - see the below pic).  The dog, rightly so took a good chunk out of my foot and I had to go to hospital for rabies and tetanus shots (a good lesson in getting your pre-trip vaccines done!).  Anyway, last week I was feeding the local dogs and a guy came up and whilst laughing kicked one in the head.  The dog started bleeding from the eye, and I lost the plot.  I fronted up to the guy and shouted "if you're gonna hit something hit me" whilst slapping myself in the face.  To be honest, it was a stupid thing to do, firstly losing my rag like that but also considering I was in a back lane in the middle of a labyrinth of the local market.  Lucky for me the other locals knew I was a regular at feeding the dogs they were on my side.  It's rare that such acts of violence happen but when they do no-one flinches, it's just normal.

When you find a gap to walk through, you take it!  Below are cars parked where I live (it's the auto refit centre of Delhi hence the bling motors):

There is a part of the population that treats women equally, don't have Bollywood medallions and would never kick a dog.  However, for the majority these are all conditions that culture has placed on people just like in the west how we are supposed to think that marriage will last forever, that eating meat is good for us, that men should 'evacuate' when we orgasm and that earning more money will bring us happiness.  Balderdash.

So, I need to re-balance the Delhi tourist radar here after saying it's amazing to visit then unsafe for girls.  Like any city, bad things happen.  India is amazing and you can travel here with minimal problems but just be wary when you come to Delhi, and even better sign up to facebook pages like http://www.facebook.com/blank.noise?ref=ts&fref=ts which is helping to promote women's rights and reduce men's macho attitude here.

Off to Agra and The Taj Mahal tomorrow.....Life is Sweet or as Rancho would say "All izz well' :)